The Cheese Shop

Of course there's nothing to buy here

Reverend Joe
  • Male
  • Cottonwood, AZ
  • United States
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There is a small sliver of light at the end of the tunnel... and it looks like it might be Taco Bell...
yesterday
Reverend Joe added a blog post
Dear FNed: I am so totally thrilled to be writing you this letter. Just last month, I had all of my fingers sawed off by a jealous lover. TOTALLY uncalled for. Thanks to the miracle of modern science, however, I have a brand-spanking-new set of c...
November 17
It was the Camembert. 37 metric tons of it.
November 10
Constantine and his schisms! What a wacky character!
November 10
Forgive me, I didn't mean to drop my pencil into your eye at such an upward angle.
November 5
Reverend Joe gave a gift to jackcheese
From the Gift Store
October 28
Reverend Joe added a blog post
Luckily, clouds covered the moon and I transformed back to human form. I was able to duck back into the house before I devoured an entire family. This lycanthropy is getting to be a pain in the necktie. And it's not even funny enough to make a sit...
October 28
What just happened? Oh, I know... I had a thought. ...should make a habit of that...
October 20
I'm told there is something to be said for paying attention to what other people are telling you... must investigate.
October 8
ANTS! ANTS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 1
Reverend Joe added a blog post
..turns out the rampant intellectual skullduggery I call my humanities course is filled to the rim with curiously uncreative thinkers. I am speaking of a lack of mental acuity to rival even the right wing; a display of gray matter flatulence that ...
September 16
Reverend Joe added a blog post
I know what you're thinking... "any minute now, that pigeon will fly away and I can have the rest of that ice cream." Well, you're sick! Eating off the ground like some... like some red-clawed crab, except for the ground is not underwater and the ...
August 25
I usually wear contacts, but I ran out in March and I haven't had enough money to buy new ones. So I've been wearing my stupid glasses. Glasses are annoying. Be thankful for your perfect eyes, she said bitterly.
July 3
possibly. I don't wear glasses so i wouldn't really know these kinds of things. I have perfect eyes. Unlike jack. The one eyed womble.
June 24
Well, that will never do then... rhinestone ones are still out of vogue I presume?
June 23
Horn-rimmed glasses are in fashion you know ;)
June 23

Profile Information

About Me:
I am rather tedious... nay, *insufferably* boring. Completely without any charisma whatsoever, lacking in any semblance of fun or even tolerability. Indescribably drab and awful. Absolutely devoid of character, remarkably slow-witted, and in possession of fewer interesting qualities than a good runny cheese the cat has just eaten.
Favorite Music:
Oh, just about all. Except the mainstream pop stuff.
Favorite TV Shows:
Monty Python, of course, except it seems they've hadn't done new shows in a few decades. I hear one of them died. Rather an anti-climax.

Reverend Joe's Blog

Reverend Joe

My "letters" column for "The Noise", Novmber 2009 (thenoise.us)

Dear FNed:

I am so totally thrilled to be writing you this letter. Just last month, I had all of my fingers sawed off by a jealous lover. TOTALLY uncalled for. Thanks to the miracle of modern science, however, I have a brand-spanking-new set of cybernetic digits which can shoot poison darts, fire laser beams, mix a perfect fuzzy navel, or [edited for content] with the greatest of ease and pleasure.
Anyway, as thrilling as this is, I’m not sure why I’m even writing to you at all. Aren’t you the… Continue

Posted on November 17, 2009 at 6:26am —

Reverend Joe

I'll tell you what's fierce... fierce is biting the whole hand off!

Luckily, clouds covered the moon and I transformed back to human form. I was able to duck back into the house before I devoured an entire family. This lycanthropy is getting to be a pain in the necktie. And it's not even funny enough to make a sitcom of it. Of course, if it were an American sitcom, it wouldn't be funny anyway.

Monterey Jack Cheese turns 70 today. He's very much like Mickey Rooney, except taller, English, and much younger. Oh, and nothing like him, personality wise; I have not,… Continue

Posted on October 28, 2009 at 1:53am —

Reverend Joe

Interesting... I thought it would take oat bran to trigger my brain

..turns out the rampant intellectual skullduggery I call my humanities course is filled to the rim with curiously uncreative thinkers. I am speaking of a lack of mental acuity to rival even the right wing; a display of gray matter flatulence that could be sliced up with a knife, mixed, baked, packaged, and sold as dipshit pie. I am too dismayed by the buffoonery that I dare not reproduce it in writing here, lest I become dumber by further exposure.

Aside from that, all is going swimmingly, exce… Continue

Posted on September 16, 2009 at 8:38pm —

Reverend Joe

Yes, we have a train to catch. And I don't want to go bleeding all over the seats.

I know what you're thinking... "any minute now, that pigeon will fly away and I can have the rest of that ice cream." Well, you're sick! Eating off the ground like some... like some red-clawed crab, except for the ground is not underwater and the ice cream is not exactly deep sea sediment. You know, actually, sidewalk dairy treats sound pretty good right now. I digress.

School begins again and I poke my rather bulbous nose into texts of ancient Rome. As if I needed anything more than Life of Br… Continue

Posted on August 25, 2009 at 2:25pm —

Reverend Joe

Like a giraffe in drag!

Driving through the desert in a car without A/C is as much fun as a sharp golden stick in the eye. I am awaiting new funding in the next couple months which would rectify this rampant sweatiness, but until then there is the happy thought of melanoma. It will be, no doubt, a fascinating topic of discussion at my next dinner party. It may make up for the salmon mousse.

I have yet to meet with advisors to see which courses I require to finish my degree. Less than a year remains until I join the ho… Continue

Posted on June 23, 2009 at 12:05am — 4 Comments

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At 5:20pm on May 20, 2009, optibrew said…
Un...Real...! Your intuition precedes you. The lemur now being my default paternal lineage, I must commend you on your not only nice high resolution depiction above of our new opposable thumbed leader, but this seemingly laser targeted gut guess on the very fact my twisted reasons for sitting here, living, supposedly thinking, and communicating in a sort of way with a total stranger, is in sum related to the fact that that bugger in your picture has fingernails and ankles!
At 6:28pm on March 23, 2009, jackcheese said…
Reverend Joe, are you connected in any way to Hungry Joe?
 
 

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